Quotations & Toasts

Famous Quotes

Posted in Quotations & Toasts, Kemp's Blog

Candy
Is Dandy
But liquor
Is quicker.
-Ogden Nash

Eat thy bread with joy,
And drink thy wine with a merry heart.
-Ecclesiastes 9:10

The problem with some people is that
When they aren't drunk they’re sober.
-William Butler Yeats

Drink is the feast of reason and the flow of soul.
-Alexander Pope

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
But the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
-Dave Barry

I like beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to
Celebrate a major event such as the fall of communism
Or the fact that the refrigerator is still working.
-Dave Barry

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
-Dave Barry

I love to drink martinis.
Two at the very most.
Three I’m under the table.
Four I’m under the host!
-Dorothy Parker

A statesman is an easy man, he tells his lies by rote.
A journalist invents his lies, and rams them down your throat.
So stay at home and drink your beer and let the neighbors vote.
-William Butler Yeats

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
-Henry Lawson

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
-Sir Winston Churchill

The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whiskey. By diligent effort, I learned to like it.
-Sir Winston Churchill

I've always believed that paradise will have my favorite beer on tap.
-Rudyard Wheatley

I've never been drunk, but often I've been over served.
-George Gobel

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
-W C Fields

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth.
-George Burns

I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.
-Cervantes

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups:
alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
-Alex Levine

Work is the curse of the drinking class
-Oscar Wilde

One of the hallmarks of the baby boomer generation is that it doesn't live like the previous generation. It hasn't yet given up jeans and T-shirts or beer.
-Ron Klugman, SVP, Coors Brewing

I never drink water. That is the stuff that rusts pipes. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
-W. C. Fields

Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine.
-Karl Marx

The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
-Richard Braunstein

This is one of the disadvantages of wine; it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.
-Samuel Johnson

Irish Toasts!

Posted in Quotations & Toasts, Kemp's Blog

Here's to the land of the shamrock so green,
Here's to each lad and his darlin colleen,
Here's to the ones we love dearest and most.
May God bless old Ireland, that's this Irishman's toast!

May the lilt of Irish laughter
lighten every load.
May the mist of Irish magic
shorten every road...
And may all your friends remember
all the favours you are owed!

Health and a long life to you.
Land without rent to you.
A child every year to you.
And if you can't go to heaven,
May you at least die in Ireland

May the luck of the Irish
Lead to happiest heights
And the highway you travel
Be lined with green lights.
Wherever you go and whatever you do,
May the luck of the Irish be there with you.

May you have all the happiness
and luck that life can hold—
And at the end of all your rainbows
may you find a pot of gold.

If you’re enough lucky to be Irish...
You’re lucky enough!

May you...
Work like you don't need the money,
love like you've never been hurt,
dance like no-one is watching,
screw like its being filmed,
and drink like a true Irishman.

Quotes from Unknown Authors

Posted in Quotations & Toasts, Kemp's Blog

There are many good reasons for drinking --
And one has just entered my head:
If a man doesn't drink when he's living,
How the hell can he drink when he's dead!

An Irishman is never drunk as long as
He can hold onto one blade of grass and not
Fall off the face of the earth.
-Old Irish Toast

A mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer.
-Ancient Egyptian phrase

God invented whiskey so the Irish wouldn't rule the world!

I'll have what the man on the floor's having!

In water one sees one's own face;
But in wine one beholds the heart of another.
-French proverb

Be one who drinks the finest of ales.
Every day without fail.
Even when you have drank enough,
Remember that ale is wonderful stuff.

For every wound, a balm.
For every sorrow, cheer.
For every storm, a calm.
For every thirst, a beer.

Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.

Champagne costs too much,
Whiskey's too rough,
Vodka puts big mouths in gear.
This little refrain
Should help to explain
Why it's better to order a beer!

In Vino Veritas
In Cervesio Felicitas
("In wine there is wisdom, In beer there is joy.")

The best beer is where priests go to drink.

"One bottle for four of us,
Thank God there's no more of us!"

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for.
-Irish proverb

Some Standard Toasts

Posted in Quotations & Toasts, Kemp's Blog

Here's to a long life and a merry one,
A quick death and an easy one,
A pretty girl and a true one,
A cold bottle and another one.

Here's to champagne, the drink divine,
That makes us forget our troubles;
It's made of five dollar's worth of wine
And twenty dollar's worth of bubbles. 

Here's to a temperance supper,
With water in glasses tall,
And coffee and tea to end with--
And me not there at all!

Here's to the wine we love to drink, and the food we like to eat.
Here's to our wives and sweethearts, let's pray they never meet.
Here's champagne for our real friends And real pain for our sham friends.
And when this life is over, may all of us find peace.

Here's to good old whiskey -- may those who use it never abuse it.

May all your troubles during the coming year be as short-lived as your New Year's resolutions.

May you taste the sweetest pleasures that fortune ere bestowed,
and may all your friends remember all the favors you are owed.

May you live to be a hundred years,
With one extra year to repent!

May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future.

May your bank account always be bigger than your troubles.

May you always have a cool head and a warm heart.

May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings, slow to make enemies and quick to make friends. And may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward.

May your home always be too small to hold all your friends.

May the roof above you never fall in,
And those gathered beneath it never fall out.

May the roof over your heads be as well thatched
As those inside are well matched.

May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on a dark night, and a smooth road all the way to your door

May you be in heaven a full half hour
before the devil knows your dead.

May you live as long as you want and never want as long as you live.

May your heart be light and happy,
May your smile be big and wide,
And may your pockets always have
a coin or two inside!

Always remember to forget
The troubles that passed away.
But never forget to remember
The blessings that come each day.

May you always have a clean shirt, a clear conscience, and enough coins in your pocket to buy a pint!

May you have the hindsight to know where you've been,
The foresight to know where you are going,
And the insight to know when you have gone too far.

May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past.

May those that love us, love us.
And those that don’t love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And if he doesn’t turn their hearts,

May he turn their ankles,
So we’ll know them by their limping.
May misfortune follow you the rest of your life, and never catch up.

May your mornings bring joy
and your evenings bring peace...
May your troubles grow less
as your blessings increase!

May you get all your wishes but one,
so that you will always have something to strive for!

May your pockets be heavy—
Your heart be light,
And may good luck pursue you
Each morning and night.

May the winds of fortune sail you,
May you sail a gentle sea.
May it always be the other guy
who says, "This drink's on me."

May you have warm words on a cold evening,
A full moon on a dark night,
And the road downhill all the way to your door.

May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings, slow to make enemies and quick to make friends.  And my you know nothing but happiness from this day forward.

May your home always be too small to hold all your friends.

May I see you grey and coming your grandchildren’s hair.

May your mornings bring joy,
And your evenings bring peace…
May your troubles grow less
As your blessings increase.

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